Former The Real Housewives of New York City star and TV commentator Eboni K. Williams told life coach IyanlaVanzant she wouldn’t date a bus driver unless he “owns the bus,” sparking a bevy of reactions from social media users.
Williams hosted a one-on-one interview with Vanzant about femininity and the differences between masculine versus feminine energy
As an attorney, Williams shared how difficult it was for her to “show up” in her womanhood regarding her dating life. However, Vanzant said Black women lost their “grace” as a result of not tapping into their divine power.
“I think we’ve lost our grace,” the life coach said. “We move in such a harsh and hard way; grace, compassion, nurturing, nourishing, elegance — how about majesty? How about divinity? How about holiness? This is not a language you hear coming out of most women’s mouths.”
The 69-year-old then said the “masculine aggressiveness” some Black women emanate is “killing us.” She reiterated a recent statement she made on The Breakfast Club, saying that women are “being trained to be men in skirts.”
Williams admitted Vanzant’s statement “triggered” her, as she identified those traits within herself.
“I actually think you’re right, Iyanla,” the 39-year-old said while sharing about her experiences.
“I’ve yet to have a male energy that provided or protected me consistently ever,”
Williams said, referencing her absentee father
“I think that I have taken on the reigns to provide and protect for myself. ‘Cause what I’m not going to do, Iyanla, is be without.”
During the conversation, Williams brought up statistics about Black women being successful with college degrees and top earners in their chosen career paths. She then questioned how Black women can “position ourselves in our divinity” when some Black men are “not in a position to protect nor provide.”
Vanzant responded to Williams, asking, “Would you date a bus driver?”
“If he owns the bus,” Williams replied. “If he owns it.”
“That’s a problem,” Vanzant said. “Because the standards and requisites, the standards and criteria that we use to measure men is off for who we are as women and who they are in this society.”